When you feel hijacked by your own emotions
“When a part is blended, you become that part; you see the world through its eyes and feel its feelings as if they were the only truth.”Richard Schwartz
Sometimes it feels like we get hijacked by our own reactions. One minute you’re fine, and the next, you’re flooded with anxiety, shame, or anger. It’s as if something inside grabs the steering wheel without asking.
From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, this happens when a “part” of you blends so closely with your awareness that you temporarily lose sight of your calmer, more grounded Self.
A Moment of Blending
Imagine you’re at work and your manager gives you constructive feedback. You nod politely, but inside, a wave of panic hits: “I’ve messed everything up. They’re going to fire me.”
This isn’t just “you” being dramatic—it’s likely a younger part of you, one that learned long ago that making mistakes was dangerous. Maybe it remembers being in trouble as a child or feeling unsafe when things went wrong.
When that part hasn’t been acknowledged or heard for years, it may leap forward the moment it senses a familiar threat. In IFS terms, it blends—meaning you see the world entirely through its eyes.
Why Parts Get So Intense
Parts that overwhelm us aren’t trying to ruin our lives; they’re trying to protect us. If they feel ignored, they may believe the only way to be taken seriously is to flood us with emotion or push us into action.
Think of it like a small child tugging at your sleeve. At first, they whisper. If you keep looking away, the whisper becomes a shout. Not because they’re “bad,” but because they believe you’re not listening.
How Blending Can Shape Our Reactions
When a part blends, it can:
- Make fear feel like absolute truth.
- Push us into defensive arguments or withdrawal.
- Block our ability to see other perspectives.
- Leave us drained after the storm passes.
We don’t just feel anxious—we are anxiety in that moment. And that can be exhausting.
Meeting Parts Without Merging
The way forward in IFS isn’t to push parts away—it’s to create some space so we can relate to them instead of from them. Here’s how that can look:
- Notice the Shift – “Something in me feels panicked” instead of “I’m panicked.”
- Stay Curious – Ask, “What’s this part afraid might happen right now?”
- Offer Presence – Let it know you hear it, even if you don’t have answers yet.
- Build a Relationship – Over time, the part learns it can come to you without taking over.
The Gift of Being Heard
When a part finally feels seen and understood, it often softens. The urgency fades because it no longer needs to hijack you to get your attention. In that space, you can act from your Self—calm, clear, and connected—instead of from a place of old fear or pain.
Blending isn’t a flaw to be fixed; it’s a signpost pointing to a part of you that’s been waiting a long time to be acknowledged. And once it’s heard, both you and the part can finally breathe.
